Why Do People Ghost: A Biblical View

Why Do People Ghost?

Opinions on ghosting vary widely. Some argue it protects individuals from toxic people or helps avoid gaslighting and dismissal. Others see it as emotionally immature, claiming that ending a relationship without explanation is unfair to the person left behind. Some believe no explanation is necessary, assuming people should naturally understand how to be considerate. Additionally, some use ghosting as a form of punishment, disappearing and reappearing as part of emotional games.In this post, Why Do People Ghost: A Biblical View, we will explore what the Bible says about ghosting and how to navigate relationships with fellow believers healthily. We will also discuss when ghosting may be necessary based on biblical principles.

What Does Ghosting Mean?

Ghosting occurs when someone abruptly cuts off all communication without explanation—essentially disappearing without a trace.

How to Handle Conflicts with Fellow Believers

In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus provides a clear path for resolving conflicts:

Talk Privately: First, address the issue directly with the person involved.
Seek Help: If that doesn’t work, involve one or two others for support.
Involve the Church: If the issue remains unresolved, take it to the church. If they still refuse to listen, treat them as someone outside the faith.

This passage encourages us to show grace and put in the effort to resolve conflicts within the community of believers.

Who Are My Brothers and Sisters in Faith?

In Mark 3:33-35, Jesus teaches that those who do God’s will are His true family. We should strive to reconcile with fellow believers, displaying the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

However, if individuals do not adhere to these teachings, it may be necessary to create distance. Matthew 7:6 advises against “throwing your pearls before swine,” indicating that sometimes ending relationships without explanation can be necessary if they prove unhealthy.

Knowing When to Distance Yourself: Understanding Toxicity

There are times when distance is essential, especially when dealing with toxic individuals. But what exactly defines a toxic person?

A toxic person consistently brings negativity, manipulates, or harms your emotional well-being. They drain your energy, cause stress, and create unnecessary drama. The Bible addresses such individuals in several passages:

2 Timothy 3:3-5 highlights toxic traits like being heartless, slanderous, and lacking self-control, urging us to avoid such people.

Proverbs 22:24-25 warns against befriending those with anger issues, as their influence can lead us astray.
Titus 3:10-11 advises distancing from divisive individuals after repeated warnings, as their behavior reveals their sinful nature.

These verses emphasize the importance of protecting our emotional and spiritual health by avoiding harmful relationships.

The Relationship Between David and Saul: A Biblical Story of Ghosting

The story of David and King Saul in 1 Samuel 18-24 serves as a powerful example of distancing oneself from toxicity. Initially, David and Saul shared a close relationship. However, as David’s success grew, Saul’s jealousy led him to seek David’s life. To protect himself, David distanced himself from Saul, avoiding confrontation despite having opportunities to retaliate. Instead, David trusted God to handle the situation, demonstrating that distancing oneself can be necessary for safety, particularly when faced with jealousy and anger.

Personal Story: Ending a Toxic Friendship

I once had an eight-year friendship with someone I’ll call Jean. Though we both identified as believers, our actions often contradicted our faith. Jean supported me during a tough time, leaving me feeling indebted. However, things shifted when a mutual friend, Sandy, revealed that Jean had been gossiping about me. Hearing a recording of that gossip broke my heart.

When I confronted Jean, she refused to take responsibility and dismissed my feelings as unfounded. I ended the friendship, but we reconnected years later. Unfortunately, I soon recognized the same toxic patterns: passive-aggressive behavior and a lack of accountability. As I grew closer to God, I realized I needed to permanently distance myself from Jean to continue my spiritual growth.

Conclusion

God calls us to extend grace and forgive one another. Ephesians 4:32 states, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” However, when reconciliation isn’t possible, and a relationship brings constant drama without repentance, it may be necessary to cut ties. Proverbs 13:20 warns, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” Proverbs 14:7 also advises, “Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”

Sometimes, the wisest choice is simply to move on.